It’s been a whole month now since me and Anthony were both furloughed from work. We spent a few weeks before that working from home too, so it’s been about 7 weeks now since we’ve been at home. It’s been a strange month and nothing like this has happened before and I wanted to just document some thoughts.
Firstly we’ve been enjoying spending time together at home. Anthony and I can always find something to do at home and we’re always quite content to lead a slower life, so this has been a bit of a blessing for us. We’ve been loving having time off to catch up on doing some of the things we love: gaming, reading, cross stitching, housework. We’ve also spent lots of quality time together watching TV and films, cooking different dinners and even making blanket forts at 11 o’clock at night to watch horror films in!
As soon as the lockdown started to gain momentum, we went to B&Q and got everything we needed to decorate our lounge. This took up the first couple of weeks of being home and it wasn’t the most enjoyable thing if I’m honest. However, it was all worth it in the end as our lounge now looks amazing! It’s been something we’ve wanted to do for a while but with working and our usual routines it was too hard to move everything to decorate, so this lockdown has been great for giving us the time to do it.
Emotionally I’m feeling a bit torn. I know that the COVID19 situation is terrible and people are really suffering, but the situation that it’s given me (being at home with my husband and giving me some free time) is making me really happy. I feel a little guilty by enjoying this situation when so many others are having a terrible time of it, but I’m slowly learning to make the most of it and to embrace feeling relaxed and content. Anthony and I have been together for over 10 years now and we got married last October. This time kind of feels like a little extra honeymoon period for us and we feel like we’ve been pretty lucky to be given this time to spend together, just us. There’s been more love and laughter in our house than ever (mainly because we only spend around 3 hours a day in our house normally!) and I’m so lucky to have a wonderful husband that is so similar to myself that we can be with each other 24/7 and become stronger and stronger.
I’m trying my best to really slow down and appreciate the little things. I have so much time in my day now, that I’m trying to do more things with mindfulness, instead of just quickly doing a job and then running to the next one. However, I’m finding that I have so much free time and still lots of things that I want to do that I’m still trying to do too much. Some things I’m succeeding with, like tidying the kitchen – I’ll take a moment to load the dishwasher, wash up pans and wipe all the kitchen down while only thinking about what I’m doing and it’s been so good for my mind. I’ll even have a little dance sometimes while I’m there as I’m not rushing around to get to the next job. However, when it comes to reading, cross stitching and playing Animal Crossing I’m trying to fit all of them in to a couple of hours and then I get disappointed when I can’t do them all! Really I need to do one a day, but I just get too excited!
A couple of things that I am really missing though is seeing my family, the gym and my aerial and self defence classes. It’s so hard to not be able to see my mum and dad and Anthony’s parents too. Both my dad and Anthony’s mum are high risk, so we’ve been making sure to stay away (we would of anyway, but it’s even more important for them). We have been up to my mum and dad’s a couple of times and spoke to them from the end of the drive, which is nice but it’s still not the same as being able to hug them and have a cup of tea. I’m also missing the dogs terribly haha!
Before the lockdown I was really starting to see a difference in my body and my self confidence, as I was working really hard in the gym and my classes and I was so excited. Then lockdown happened and I started to slack. It’s much harder working out at home and there isn’t a way that I can even remotely practice any aerial stuff. Also the whole house was a mess while we were decorating so there was nowhere to workout even if I wanted to. A couple of weeks ago I decided enough was enough so I bought Natacha Oceane’s Home Reload workout and I’m also getting Anthony to practice my padwork with me. It’s only been a few days so far but it feels good to move again and hopefully I can get sort of back on track again, if not all the way.
During May I really want to try and slow down more and not put as much pressure on myself to do everything in one day. I’m getting better already but I can still improve a lot. I also want to keep up with working out at home as I always feel so much better after a workout and I need it mentally too. We’re eating much more as we’re at home and I feel terribly guilty if I don’t workout, so I’m going to work hard on trying not to feel guilty about eating more food at this time too.
We’re all in a really unique situation now, so I feel like I need to be a bit kinder to myself and not beat myself up about things. There’s only so much that we can do and it’s okay to take some time out and look after ourselves right now. We all cope in different ways and there is no right or wrong way to do it, as long as it helps us.